Mauna Loa Dark Chocolate Kona Coffee Macadamia Nuts 7oz. SUB.

This here's a true story. The wife loves these things, me too, but she's gaga for em. Understandably, of course, because they are the BEST — with the crunch and the chocolate coating and the coffee taste and all. But she never finishes em. Always leaves some in the bottom of the pouch and they start to tease you over time, knowing they're in there. So one day — and this is like two weeks after we bought em but they ain't stale or nothin — I see the pouch standing there behind the cookies. I want somethin sweet. But it's a risk to go after her Dark Chocolate Kona Coffee Macadamia Nuts because she loves those things but she never finishes em! At some point they're free game, am I right? So I'm lookin at em back there all lonely and what not and I check that the wife — her name's Willa — I check that Willa is indisposed and I quietly reach back there, nab that pouch and there's like six or seven of those suckers rolling around in there, so I eat one. Oh, man are these delicious! I love macadamia nuts. Had em once on our honeymoon in Hawaii. But these ones are covered in that coffee chocolate with just a touch of bitter to go with the sweet. Like life itself, you know? So I just ate em all and stuffed the pouch in the bottom of the trash. And I was in the clear for like five days and I'm sittin in the recliner watchin the Jets game and here comes her voice outta the kitchen. Ed? You seen my macadamias? And I'm like, Nah. And she walks in to look at me to make sure I'm dealin square and she can tell somethin ain't right even though I'm workin hard to keep innocence on my face. And I says, What? And she says, all sad-like, Oh, Ed. And I'm like, Well, you ain't touched em in almost a month and she says, I know, I was savin em for the Jets game! And I swallowed because I knew I was in for it but instead of yellin at me she just sorta sits in her recliner and I'm feelin bad now cause there ain't no way to get more of the delightful little beauties without you have to order more from Walmart online and wait a few days for delivery. And so I'm stewin cause I don't know what to do and then, by golly, the Jets score a big fat touchdown and Willa, who's even a bigger Jets fan than me, jumps out of her recliner sayin Touchdown! Touchdown! and we're high fivin and huggin and, well, I think just then she forgave me a little bit and so I made chili dogs and brownies and we were good to go. A few days later a new pouch of Mauna Loa Dark Chocolate Kona Coffee Macadamia Nuts arrives from Walmart delivery and after dinner I surprise her with em and she's like, Oh, Ed, you didn't have to do that, all sweet and all, and I said, Yeah, but you're my best girl, and we held hands for a little bit and I think she finally forgave me. Trouble is, I ain't seen those suckers since. But I'm gonna find em when she's at her hair appointment on Friday.